confessions and stories of a below-average teenager

Okay, I'm going to try again this year. Serious. Even though I have no time because it's senior year, and there are college applications to handle, and lots of homework and... *fizzles out*

But I do have an idea I want to try and run with, especially since I've been trying to build my own world and such, so... yeah. If I do update about nanowrimo, it'll be on the other name I (haven't) use(d) for writing, selume_proferre
On a crazy-ish side note, I somehow landed myself a part in the school play, approximately three weeks ago. It's been crazy, going to all these practices because I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A PLAY BEFORE IN MY LIFE. Not even those dinky little ones that elementary school kids put on.

I guess it's because of that Theatre class I'm in this trimester at school, but I've been making myself get out there more, you know? Being more... noticeable.

Uh, the play is Alice in Wonderland, for the record, and I'm Humpty Dumpty, yep. Okay, now that that's out of the way...

A friend of mine has stopped over, so I'm going to hang out with them for a bit.

Bye!
~Lyn

Note to self: Stop overreacting. It'll get you nowhere.

Well, I'd rather be empty than sad. Temporarily, anyway.

Anyhow, I've made a bit of a resolution for this school year. (My original one was not to be a bitch, but that isn't going to happen, seeing as this girl named Nichole whom I've known for some time now is still in the majority of my AP classes. :))

My resolution is to not let any shit get to me and not put up with any shit from other people. Okay, so that has the word shit in it too many times, but I can't quite think of an eloquent way to express it. The long and short of it? I'm not going to get stressed about classes. I'm going to do my work on time, and just chill when I realize that I can't do something. See, if I can't handle it, then that's what the teachers are for. They'll help me, as I know quite a few of them are able and willing to.

Plus, I'm not going to freak out because of all the applications for college and scholarships and everything that I'm going to have to fill out either. No, I'm going to try and let it all roll off of me. :) I mean, I also have to take the SAT now for the National Merit stuff, but I think I can handle that. I'm going to chill and work my way slowly through everything.

Perhaps something like hope is coming through me now? A little bit, anyway. I mean, I've realized that I've got people around me that will be there for me when I need them. I just hope I don't let them down or anything...

I keep wondering, though. This sadness that comes over me... it's not the first time this has happened to me, just the worst time so far. And the first time I ever made it (sort of) public. I've been thinking... internal/subconscious stress? Dissatisfaction with life in general? Frustration with inability to do what I want even when I have time?

I just wish I could figure out. If it had a reason, maybe I could just... rationalize it away.

-Lyn

Note to self: Start taking camera to school. When I finally bitchslap Nichole after all these years, someone's going to take a picture of the moment for me. It's going up on my wall. :) In a nice, simple black frame.

...All posts shall be friends-only-locked. Not that I'm worried about anyone stealing my identity or some stupid shit like that, but just because... well, I do let a few private things slip every so often. Not often, but enough that I'm thinking, "Hey! The fewer people who see it, the better!" Not that many people view this in the first place.

So, comment to be added. Only reason I might not add you is if you can't use proper grammar/spelling, in which case you need to get away from my journal now. Sounds easy, no?

I shall leave you with this.

Love,
Lyn

EDIT EDIT EDIT I liked the idea, so here it is: I'll leave my posts unlocked for a day, and then lock them! In case anyone cares or randomly decides to comment. Of course, this idea only works if I remember to do it...